You wouldn’t know love
You wouldn’t know love
If it knocked down your door…
If it fell in your hands
From the heavens above
You wouldn’t know love… (Micheal Bolton)
I love jogging early in the morning, it helps clear my head and my body, enables me to plan and focus on my goals for the day…though I’m still a slightly chubby woman who behaves like a girl, has a tendency to bloat at certain time of the month, takes decisions with her heart rather than her head, can leave things as they are (laissez faire) but fierce when she wants something badly enough.
So what does this have to do with anything? Well, I was jogging early Wednesday morning when I made the startling discovery that not everybody responds positively to being loved.
Everybody talks about loving and being loved, everybody wants…nay, needs to be loved. We all talk about it, chase after it, beg for it or try to buy it, but when it’s freely given, we get freaked out!
That’s when we put on our superior attitude. Me? You love me? How can you love me? Did I ask you to love me? Have I solicited for your love in any way form or fashion? Who are you to love me?
Underneath the ‘fronting’ is the fact that we feel unlovable. We’ve judged ourselves and come to the conclusion that we are ‘not good enough’. Instead of accepting love and basking in the feeling of being genuinely adored (not for our looks, money or social status), we try to humiliate the person who loves us, we disrespect them because we think to ourselves ‘how can he/she/it love me without any reason? I’m not good enough for that kind of love, so why should he/she love me? There must be something wrong with him/her/it, because there’s something wrong with me.’
We assume that the person is ‘cheap’ and does not have any pride that’s why he/she/it loves us, that he/she/it might even enjoy the humiliations we méte out to them. The person becomes the butt of jokes or, worse still, an object of pity. We give them crumbs of affection, and condescend to him/her/it.
I remember someone that loved me like that once, he did everything in his power to show me that he doesn’t care about my looks, social status or circumstances and I did everything in my power to push him away… then he went away…now its my loss…
The conclusion of the whole matter… I’m not asking you to fall in love with everybody who loves you, just give them a modicum of respect, just avoid doing things to humiliate them, talk to them like human beings and if they start stalking you?...shoot ‘em down!
If it knocked down your door…
If it fell in your hands
From the heavens above
You wouldn’t know love… (Micheal Bolton)
I love jogging early in the morning, it helps clear my head and my body, enables me to plan and focus on my goals for the day…though I’m still a slightly chubby woman who behaves like a girl, has a tendency to bloat at certain time of the month, takes decisions with her heart rather than her head, can leave things as they are (laissez faire) but fierce when she wants something badly enough.
So what does this have to do with anything? Well, I was jogging early Wednesday morning when I made the startling discovery that not everybody responds positively to being loved.
Everybody talks about loving and being loved, everybody wants…nay, needs to be loved. We all talk about it, chase after it, beg for it or try to buy it, but when it’s freely given, we get freaked out!
That’s when we put on our superior attitude. Me? You love me? How can you love me? Did I ask you to love me? Have I solicited for your love in any way form or fashion? Who are you to love me?
Underneath the ‘fronting’ is the fact that we feel unlovable. We’ve judged ourselves and come to the conclusion that we are ‘not good enough’. Instead of accepting love and basking in the feeling of being genuinely adored (not for our looks, money or social status), we try to humiliate the person who loves us, we disrespect them because we think to ourselves ‘how can he/she/it love me without any reason? I’m not good enough for that kind of love, so why should he/she love me? There must be something wrong with him/her/it, because there’s something wrong with me.’
We assume that the person is ‘cheap’ and does not have any pride that’s why he/she/it loves us, that he/she/it might even enjoy the humiliations we méte out to them. The person becomes the butt of jokes or, worse still, an object of pity. We give them crumbs of affection, and condescend to him/her/it.
I remember someone that loved me like that once, he did everything in his power to show me that he doesn’t care about my looks, social status or circumstances and I did everything in my power to push him away… then he went away…now its my loss…
The conclusion of the whole matter… I’m not asking you to fall in love with everybody who loves you, just give them a modicum of respect, just avoid doing things to humiliate them, talk to them like human beings and if they start stalking you?...shoot ‘em down!
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