The diary of a mad man – 31st January

You might not believe it, but there’s nothing as exciting and as liberating as voluntary madness. The day I chose to become a madman was the first day of my liberty. As I took each cloth off my body I felt like I was breaking the shackles which have held me bound from the day I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth.
For the first time in my life I could shout, scream obscenities… but that was short lived. I fought long and hard to become a certified, totally naked-on-the-street mad pesin.

I love being a mad man because basically I can do anything I like and nobody will blame me, they’ll say:
“He slapped you? You’d better start running or better still go to your pastor to do deliverance for you, how can a mad man slap you? You want to go back and fight a mad man abi? Please go ahead; just don’t come back here after the fight! I don’t want anybody to think I know you.”

But the real freedom lies in the fact that I chose not to do those things, I chose to live my life violence free … hehehe … but don’t tell anybody or they’ll start taking me for granted. I’m no father Christmas and I enjoy the way people cross to the other side of the road when they see me coming.

I even saw my mother once, gorgeously attired in a pink lace, she was sitting in one car that looks spanking new (father must be having another affair). I took out time to study her while she was busy reading a newspaper. Her face looked so stiff I suspected she must have had another face-lift.

Mother dear mother. The social butterfly, the social climber. I was so busy studying her I didn’t notice when a man came up behind me and grabbed me, I screamed with rage and that was when she looked up, our eyes met and I saw the shock of recognition in her eyes. Although her face remained immobile, but those eyes, they expressed horror, fear, revulsion and something akin to pain…

“Kasali, leave him alone!” she shouted at the man who was still busy shoving me.
“Modom, he’s a madings o! I seesaw him dey looks looks at you.” He said, reluctantly letting me go
“I said let him go!” she shoved a thousand naira note through the window at me, I laughed, picked up the money and tore it to bits. She looked at me and I gave her the finger… my mother … I remember my pre-freedom years, she had so much power over me. But now I’m free, free from her greedy, grasping claws forever … freeeeee.