If

if I shave off my beard,
change the colour of my hair,
go back in time, got born again.

if I spoke better grammar,
wore dolce and gabanna
the papparazzi on my Hummer.

if I become a bilgs gelz,
wore a lot more blingz,
counted my billionz with Bill.

if I'm related to Her Royal Majesty
the queen of England, Lizzie,
walked with my nose in the air.

if I got a new pair of tits,
a makeover from Style - lists
dropped names on the A- list.

if I got more class,
graduate with the masters,
kiss the air by your airse.

if I lived in the mews,
walked in jimmy choos,
rolled with the Gates.

maybe ...