I’m a feminist not sexist… gerrit?
I’ve been thinking of doing an article on Nigerian people (mostly women) who go on and on and on (ad infinitum) about their not being feminists, on the other hand I was thinking I shouldn’t because… ‘hey, it’s alright, your opinions are valid’. And because it’s a pleasure seeing women expressing their opinions, no matter how reprehensible I personally find it, that’s what feminism is about, giving voice to people the society has fought for so long to silence…
… but … there are times that these fingers of mine just can’t keep their thoughts to themselves, they are too opinionated for their own good… and their opinions are as valid as yours.
One of the things I try to do before jumping into any conversation (in my usual half-assed, screeching, bush-Ibadan-woman way) is try to understand the other person’s side of a story. So I’ve read a whole slew of articles (written mostly by Nigerian women) on why they do not like the label – feminist – being used on them. And the one thing I’ve come away with is that most of these women keep confusing feminism with sexism… the summary of their arguments? ‘I believe in equality but I don’t hate men, so I’m not a feminist’, I guess this is as opposed to ‘I believe in equality, I hate men, so I’m a feminist’.
Well I’m a feminist, I believe in equality and I do not hate men.
My men can attest to this. I grew up with a bunch of feisty men. I’ve loved some as friends, I’ve loved some as part of my support network, I’ve loved some at the back of cars, up a wall, on chairs, in trains (no I’ve not joined the Mile High Club or whatever they call themselves…yet). I’ve loved them in the missionary position, doggy style, straddling… don’t let us get side-tracked here but you got it, right?
Now, a feminist is someone who believes that men, women, trans, asexuals, intersex or whatever label you paste on yourself (or whichever one the society has stuck on you) are first and foremost, HUMAN BEINGS, and should be treated as such… equally.
Everybody should be treated equally.
Nobody should be fired because they are pregnant, or don’t look feminine/masculine enough.
Everybody should have rights to justice, should live their lives fully without being afraid that they’ll get raped because of the way they dress or are undressed. They should get equal pay for equal work. Should be able to choose how they want to live their lives, without being judged by the ‘society’.
They should be free enough to choose whether to marry or not, to have children or not, to make career choices based on their abilities not because they have been told to or not, or because they are afraid there won’t be room for promotion for them because they are going into a field dominated by one sex or the other.
A society where equality is a tangible fact, not something someone is paying lip service to by forming ‘Ministry for Women and Youths and Children and the Disadvantaged and fools and idiots’ or distributing stoves to women so that they won’t return to the kitchen (oxymoronic right?).
Feminism goes beyond hashtags and social media banters, it is when women (mostly feminists) spend almost fifteen to twenty years pushing a bill called ‘Violence Against Persons’ into law. When they stepped in to make sure that the IDP’s do not go hungry or naked. When they are presently working on changing the language of our constitution so that someone cannot decide to marry off a 3months old child and there’s nothing you can do about it because the constitution clearly states that anybody who is married is a woman or you can’t bestow your citizenship on your spouse or partner because you are female.
Feminism is about working on inheritance rights, so that women can have access to the lands they work on.
Feminism is beyond Facebook or Twitter ‘rants’.
They are not rants, you moron! It is giving voice to people who have been systemically silenced over the years because you can’t talk too loudly or complain about the way you’re being treated simply because you’re of a certain sex or you will not be considered a ‘lady’.
Feminism is about giving platform to women who have been abused beyond your self-satisfied lower middle class smirk about how YOUR husband pays ALL the bills so what’s the big deal about a slap or two here and there? And how sharing house-hold chores is no big deal because you have a fucking under-aged boy or girl enslaved in your house in guise of a ‘houseboy’ or ‘housegirl’.
We are talking about women whose husbands take iron rods to them at the slightest provocation, break-bottles on their heads, turn them into punching bags. Women who genuinely have nowhere else to go, because they are economically disadvantaged and not staying in abusive relationships because they love the title of ‘Mrs’ so much they’d go through hell and fire and brimstone to keep it.
This as far as I’m concerned is a simple thing, as simple as abc. Unfortunately there is no equality anywhere, there is no justice (just us) but there is such a thing as the patriarchy. A system that has been so institutionalized it has even succeeded in making the oppressed oppress other people. It stands to reason that if you were bullied by your mother-in-law, for example, chances are that you will bully your daughter/son-in-law. If your clitoris was cut off as a child and you never got to feel sexual pleasure, chances are that you will cut off the clitoris of your female child.
There is no such thing as the Matriarchy or whatever ojuju is lying inside your wardrobe at night about to jump out and eat you up because you call yourself a feminist.
Feminism is not a cult, it is a choice… you can actually choose to be one or not. Nobody is trying to ‘recruit’ you or force you to work for the emancipation of women who are not as advantaged as you. It is not a superstardom, in fact you lose a lot when you’re tagged a feminist but you gain yourself freedom from mental slavery. Nobody will knight you or pay you for being a feminist. The fact that you even have a choice is because some people in the past (or presently) have decided they’ve had enough of being oppressed, refused the right to vote, raped in the name of child marriage or any kind of marriage, paid a pittance for what men are getting loads of money for doing.
Feminism is activism not for the faint hearted.
So please keep apologizing for daring to believe in equal rights and emancipation of the sexes, in fact you can continue jeering at women who are feminist, but please, get your fucking facts straight while doing all these, because you just look plain stupid.
Repeat after me … feminism is NOT sexism.
… but … there are times that these fingers of mine just can’t keep their thoughts to themselves, they are too opinionated for their own good… and their opinions are as valid as yours.
Well I’m a feminist, I believe in equality and I do not hate men.
My men can attest to this. I grew up with a bunch of feisty men. I’ve loved some as friends, I’ve loved some as part of my support network, I’ve loved some at the back of cars, up a wall, on chairs, in trains (no I’ve not joined the Mile High Club or whatever they call themselves…yet). I’ve loved them in the missionary position, doggy style, straddling… don’t let us get side-tracked here but you got it, right?
Now, a feminist is someone who believes that men, women, trans, asexuals, intersex or whatever label you paste on yourself (or whichever one the society has stuck on you) are first and foremost, HUMAN BEINGS, and should be treated as such… equally.
Everybody should be treated equally.
Nobody should be fired because they are pregnant, or don’t look feminine/masculine enough.
Everybody should have rights to justice, should live their lives fully without being afraid that they’ll get raped because of the way they dress or are undressed. They should get equal pay for equal work. Should be able to choose how they want to live their lives, without being judged by the ‘society’.
They should be free enough to choose whether to marry or not, to have children or not, to make career choices based on their abilities not because they have been told to or not, or because they are afraid there won’t be room for promotion for them because they are going into a field dominated by one sex or the other.
A society where equality is a tangible fact, not something someone is paying lip service to by forming ‘Ministry for Women and Youths and Children and the Disadvantaged and fools and idiots’ or distributing stoves to women so that they won’t return to the kitchen (oxymoronic right?).
Feminism goes beyond hashtags and social media banters, it is when women (mostly feminists) spend almost fifteen to twenty years pushing a bill called ‘Violence Against Persons’ into law. When they stepped in to make sure that the IDP’s do not go hungry or naked. When they are presently working on changing the language of our constitution so that someone cannot decide to marry off a 3months old child and there’s nothing you can do about it because the constitution clearly states that anybody who is married is a woman or you can’t bestow your citizenship on your spouse or partner because you are female.
Feminism is about working on inheritance rights, so that women can have access to the lands they work on.
Feminism is beyond Facebook or Twitter ‘rants’.
They are not rants, you moron! It is giving voice to people who have been systemically silenced over the years because you can’t talk too loudly or complain about the way you’re being treated simply because you’re of a certain sex or you will not be considered a ‘lady’.
Feminism is about giving platform to women who have been abused beyond your self-satisfied lower middle class smirk about how YOUR husband pays ALL the bills so what’s the big deal about a slap or two here and there? And how sharing house-hold chores is no big deal because you have a fucking under-aged boy or girl enslaved in your house in guise of a ‘houseboy’ or ‘housegirl’.
We are talking about women whose husbands take iron rods to them at the slightest provocation, break-bottles on their heads, turn them into punching bags. Women who genuinely have nowhere else to go, because they are economically disadvantaged and not staying in abusive relationships because they love the title of ‘Mrs’ so much they’d go through hell and fire and brimstone to keep it.
This as far as I’m concerned is a simple thing, as simple as abc. Unfortunately there is no equality anywhere, there is no justice (just us) but there is such a thing as the patriarchy. A system that has been so institutionalized it has even succeeded in making the oppressed oppress other people. It stands to reason that if you were bullied by your mother-in-law, for example, chances are that you will bully your daughter/son-in-law. If your clitoris was cut off as a child and you never got to feel sexual pleasure, chances are that you will cut off the clitoris of your female child.
There is no such thing as the Matriarchy or whatever ojuju is lying inside your wardrobe at night about to jump out and eat you up because you call yourself a feminist.
Feminism is not a cult, it is a choice… you can actually choose to be one or not. Nobody is trying to ‘recruit’ you or force you to work for the emancipation of women who are not as advantaged as you. It is not a superstardom, in fact you lose a lot when you’re tagged a feminist but you gain yourself freedom from mental slavery. Nobody will knight you or pay you for being a feminist. The fact that you even have a choice is because some people in the past (or presently) have decided they’ve had enough of being oppressed, refused the right to vote, raped in the name of child marriage or any kind of marriage, paid a pittance for what men are getting loads of money for doing.
Feminism is activism not for the faint hearted.
So please keep apologizing for daring to believe in equal rights and emancipation of the sexes, in fact you can continue jeering at women who are feminist, but please, get your fucking facts straight while doing all these, because you just look plain stupid.
Repeat after me … feminism is NOT sexism.
This is a point blank fact that does not slant towards hypocrisy of notions and conventional ideologies as it relates to gender. This is feminism in a clear context.
ReplyDeleteThanks Timothy
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