Two Cows - A bitter woman's perspective

( Adapted from Mathias Varga's 'Two Cows')
(Art-Kehinde Awofeso)

Socialism

You have two cows
You give one to your husband

Communism
You have two cows
Your husband takes both cows and kisses you rather fondly

Fascism
You have two cows
Your husband takes both cows and just one mistress  (instead of two, or three, or more...) and one olosho

Nazism
You have two cows
Your husband takes both cows, divorces you and marries a new wife

Bureaucratism
You have two cows
Your husband takes the cows, accidentally shoots one, and dashes the other to his mistress to be well cooked in peppersoup, throws an owambe party, didn't invite you, neither did he attend the party. You both drank garri for breakfast.

Traditional Capitalism
You have two cows
Your husband takes them, sells them, buys a second-hand car, empties your bank account, builds a house and marries two new wives

Nigerian Banks Capitalism
You have two cows
Your husband takes them, collects all your money, sells off your jewelry, collects monthly house rents from you, charges you for sex, sells the cows to your parents at a profit and then tiff the cows.

Surrealism
You have two white elephants.
Your husband's seventh mistress just had their third baby.

The Government
You have two cows.
Your husband takes both cows, joins the organization for husbands with unlimited access to cows, sells the cows at a huge profit, keeps the money in your joint account, steals the money, hides it in a swiss bank and tells the whole world 'my family is not poor' in spite of your children's lack of shoes ... after all you're married to a rich man.